Why You Lost Your Fire (And Where to Find It)

The energy source you're not using and how to unlock the motivation that sustains you through anything

Hey there,

You've achieved what most people would call success. Good job, steady income, decent health, solid friendships. The fundamentals are covered.

So why does life still feel hollow?

You keep hitting your goals, but nothing feels like it matters. You're constantly proving yourself, focused on individual achievement, wondering why checking all the boxes doesn't bring satisfaction.

If you're reading this, you're probably different from most people. While others chase external validation, you're asking deeper questions. You sense there's something more meaningful waiting for you.

What Viktor Frankl Discovered About Purpose and Meaning

Viktor Frankl made a powerful discovery in the concentration camps. When you're working for something bigger than yourself, you find strength you didn't know you had.

Frankl survived because he had a mission. He wanted to share his theory of logotherapy with the world. That contribution to humanity gave him the will to live and completely changed his attitude, even in the worst circumstances.

This reveals something important about human nature. When you're only working for yourself, motivation eventually runs dry. But when you're contributing to others or serving something meaningful beyond your own needs, energy flows differently.

Your brain craves this shift. After you've handled your basic survival, it starts seeking contribution. Most people miss this transition. They keep trying to find meaning in personal achievement when they need something bigger to drive them forward.

You're one of the few people who recognizes this pattern. That's what separates thoughtful individuals like you from those who stay trapped in the achievement hamster wheel.

The question becomes: What do you want to contribute? What's your version of Frankl's mission to help humanity?

The Energy Source You're Missing

When you shift from proving yourself to helping others, you tap into a completely different energy source.

Instead of grinding through willpower, you discover the motivation that comes from being useful to others:

• Mentoring someone in your field - sharing your expertise with the next generation

• Volunteering for a cause you care about - contributing to something larger than yourself

• Sharing your skills to help others solve problems - using your talents for meaningful impact

For me, this shift happened years before I even had children. I knew I wanted to be a father someday, and that future responsibility completely changed how I approached personal development. I wasn't just working on myself anymore. I was building the man I wanted my kids to see as their example.

That energy carried me through years of growth work. When my son was finally born, I'd already developed the habits, emotional stability, and clarity I wanted to model for him.

Now my meaning comes from coaching and writing, but it all started with wanting to be worthy of the role I hoped to play in someone else's life.

The interesting thing is that building self-worth creates better results than chasing success. When you're driven by contribution rather than achievement, you naturally treat yourself with more compassion, which paradoxically leads to better performance.

Why Multiple Sources of Meaning Work Better

The people who feel most alive aren't necessarily the most accomplished. They're the ones who've discovered they can get meaning from multiple sources.

This is something most people never figure out. They put all their meaning into one bucket, usually work, and wonder why they feel empty when that area struggles.

My meaning comes from several places:

• Helping the next generation start strong with emotional stability, good habits, and competence

• Coaching people who are still forming their minds and habits

• Building something meaningful with my family

• Contributing to my local community in ways that matter

This "mosaic" approach makes life more resilient. When one source feels challenging, others keep you going.

But here's the catch: you need the energy to sustain multiple meaningful pursuits. If you're constantly running on low energy, even the most purposeful work starts feeling like a grind. I learned this the hard way when I had to stop running at full speed and figure out how to manage my energy sustainably.

Purpose-Driven Personal Development

Once you know what matters to you and who you want to help, you suddenly have a clear reason to develop specific skills.

Self-improvement stops being about random optimization and becomes about building the capabilities you need to make a real difference.

When I realized I wanted to help people gain clarity and take action, I knew I needed to develop:

• Better listening skills

• Clearer communication

• Deeper understanding of how people change

Each skill had a clear purpose beyond just "being better."

This clarity of purpose is powerful, but it doesn't happen overnight. If you're feeling stuck or overwhelmed by all the options in front of you, free writing can help you discover what you actually want. Sometimes we need to get all the noise out of our heads before we can hear what really matters to us.

Your Next Move

You don't need to find your life's ultimate mission right now.

But since you're someone who thinks deeply about these things, you're already ahead of most people who never even ask these questions.

Start here:

Recognize where you are:

• If you focus only on individual achievement and security feels like the end goal, you're in survival mode

• If individual wins don't excite you anymore and you want to help others, you're ready for contribution

Take one small step:

• Help one person with something you're good at

• Join a group working on something you care about

• Share your knowledge with someone learning your field

Pay attention to how it feels. When helping others energizes you more than personal achievements, you've found your next level.

The beautiful thing about meaning is that it evolves. What drives you today might be different in five years. The key is recognizing when it's time to climb to the next level.

People like us understand this journey isn't linear. We know that growth happens in cycles, and we're patient with the process.

Where are you on this ladder right now? What gives you the most energy these days?

Until next week,

Alex

P.S. Hit reply and let me know what energizes you most. I read every message and love hearing where people are on their own meaning journey.